Tag Archives: brokenness

PEACE, not pieces

give thanks: pie for dinnerOur family has done Thanksgiving in many different ways over the years. We’ve hosted the dinners yet also driven the miles to do the rounds between all the families. We’ve squished in family projects in lieu of big family gatherings. Some years we’ve taken off for a family getaway instead of sticking with tradition.

small hands making pie crustOne of the ways we’ve reclaimed our own family connections going into the holiday season  is to share a few hours together baking pies. Several  years ago I said yes to one of my boys who asked if we could cut into one of the pies  to have a taste.  pies for dinner

So, we began having “pie for dinner” on Thanksgiving Eve, letting go of the expectation of showing up to our family gig the next day with fully intact pies. We feel a little giddy with the power of “eating dessert first” and having pie as the only thing on the dinner menu.

As we were winding down our Pie for Dinner night this year, a candle was enthusiastically blown out which splattered wax all over our white tablecloth. Although a little chagrined, we tried not to let it overshadow the scrumptious fun we had just had together. We walked away from it, piecrust crumbs and all.

waxy tableclothThe next day after returning from a festive and full family dinner, I gathered up the tablecloth and stuck it in the freezer to deal with later. (I read about this handy trick somewhere, so I gave it a whirl.) Yesterday morning I attempted to get the wax to flake off.  No luck! I threw it in the washer with mild hopes that some laundering magic might make the wax disappear. Nope! It morphed into a smooth patch of muted blue splotches…and is on the verge of being downgraded to a craft tablecloth. Oh well!

As I’ve gone round and round with this silly thing, I’ve realized I can get worked up about it or come to peace with it and move on…because we know the next season’s messes will be upon us before we know it, right?

Christmas tree pine needles

Along with the jingly bells of the season, we hear the buzzing of pressure all around us.

Sometimes our calendars fill up rather than our hearts.

We can easily get pulled into holiday stress, feeling the fractures sneaking in. Or we can remain steadfast in seeking out the joys and peace of the season, one choice at a time.Bible Quilt™ - heart at peace

When we’re tugged to get our shopping done early or to be among the first wave of holiday cards arriving in busy mailboxes, we need to intentionally slow down to pull together rather than apart.

We know we need to choose relationship over finding just the “right” gift…one heart decision at a time.


“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart…” Luke 2:19


It’s okay to take a break to ponder…and perhaps reflect on the bigger picture.

People all around us are hurting. Families are facing loss. Friends are financially squeezed. We can all use a dose of PEACE rather than fall to pieces when we get overwhelmed with holiday stress or encounter another flavor of brokenness.

give thanks at #theturquoisetable
Giving Thanks at the Turquoise Table

We can strive to give thanks for the overflow of one season blurring into the next, preparing our hearts one day at a time.



PEACE, not pieces.



 

Walls

History is filled with walls being built to define and protect country borders. History is also punctuated by walls crumbling or actively being torn down to bring people back together.

This post is not about politics. This is about the human condition.

wallIn our vulnerability as humans, we erect walls between one another, too. Just like the stones and mortar stacked layer upon layer to build a sturdy wall, we also build one divisive layer at a time until an almost tangible barrier lies between us. Friendships halt; relationships wither.

brick wall, adding layersAt first this barrier may have seemed self-protective in nature. We erect a buffer between us and someone else to gain a little personal space.

We retreat to ourselves to ponder a change in our relationship – perhaps we even give in to a good pout while we’re at it.

If we don’t sift through our thoughts and feelings in a way that’s objective and balanced, however, we soon find ourselves casting everything about this relationship into a negative jumble. We lose perspective and discover we’re in a deeper mess than we intended.

Slowly and somewhat sheepishly, we realize we’re more than a little skittish about how to seek our way out from this dark wall we’ve hidden behind.


We…..are….STUCK.

brick wall with holeBeing in a standstill in a relationship is no fun. Hurt feelings get piled up on both sides of the wall. Heavy hearts weigh down our ability to cope with one another in a reasonable way.

It’s so hard to make the first effort to knock a chink in that wall…yet so worth it.


“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32


I think forgiveness may be an underrated superhero skill. It has such a powerful impact once we have the humility to employ it. Forgiveness can squash those barriers between us so quickly that we wonder how we had built these walls so clumsily to start with.

Saying “sorry” is not just for kindergarteners to practice their social skills on the playground. It’s for ALL of us.

Extending forgiveness to a friend or loved one is not easy, but often is the first step in healing a relationship. It allows the light to break through that murky veil that has clouded our communication. With gentle strength, forgiveness collapses the selfish defenses between us. Our footsteps become lighter and we see the hope of moving forward together again.brick wall crumbled


Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” I Peter 4:8


Love well during this season, friends. May we each have grace with one another, especially during those tender moments when we may need to exchange forgiveness rather than a Hallmark valentine. ❤️

Giving Joy & Gentleness

Christmas conversation promptsOur family has a Christmas activity we weave into our mealtime hubbub: answering questions from a tin of Christmas-focused conversation prompts. Even though we’ve been through these questions several times over the years, the answers vary as children get older and more introspective.

JoyOne of the recent questions was about the reason behind gift-giving during this season. The discussion included the gifts of the wise men and our gift of a Savior, then narrowed down to the mere joy of giving to others.

Probably one of the main stressors of the busy holiday season revolves around gift-giving: the generation of ideas, the investment of time and money, last-minute shopping, and eventually the late-night wrapping.

teacher giftsWhen we find something “just right” for a special person on our list and see genuine delight spread across her face as she opens her gift, we experience the joy of giving.

It’s in this moment of giving that we turn toward each other, share eye contact, and feel a closer connection to one another…we share a mutual tug on our hearts.

Imagine how much love God had for each of us as He gave His One True Gift to us by sending us Jesus. Through Christ we are pulled closer to God and may dwell in His Presence.post office drop

As I trudge through these last days before Christmas, grocery shopping and dropping cards into the mail,  I’m trying to hold onto this image of the Ultimate Giver offering His most precious gift.

This helps me let the details of the hustle-bustle fade a bit and focus on the interactions around me.hot cocoa

Being gentle with those around us and being mindful that this holiday’s joy may be smudged by loss or pain is an extension of God’s love toward others.

silver conesWhen our expectations of the holidays don’t come packaged with a jaunty red bow…

When disappointment piles up like crumpled balls of wrapping paper on Christmas morning…

When loss and grief drop around us  like pine needles fall constantly off the Christmas tree…

When rough spots in our relationships are highlighted during family gatherings…

God is with us in these tender moments, offering hope.
70s childhood ornament

boy in tuxAs as we share coffee cake with neighbors on a cold wintry night…

As we gaze at each other in the warm glow during Christmas Eve candlelight service…

As we watch eager children tear into their presents Christmas morning…

As we observe grandparents smile in remembrances of the past…

God is with us in these joyous moments, embracing us in love.candlelight communion
When stress begins to creep in again, I try to remind myself:

empty gift box

It’s not what is under the tree.

It’s who is gathered around it. 

 

It’s not what is in the box,

but WHO fills our hearts.

God is with us through it all, however this season unfolds for our families this year. Blessings to you and yours this Christmas!


“Glory to God in the highest,

and on earth peace…

-Luke 2:14



 

Love lingers

As February is drawing to a close, Valentine flowers have faded and heart-shaped cards have been put aside…yet the message of LOVE lingers on in our hearts and homes. It gives us something to cling to during difficult times.heart block art

A senseless tragedy has occurred in a small Kansas town…yet the power of Love emerges through the assertive actions of law enforcement.

Families feel broken as they mourn the loss and injuries of loved ones…yet the strength of Love holds them together as they are supported by friends and extended family.

Children face doubts and fears today that they didn’t experience before yesterday…yet the reassurance of Love surrounds them through gestures from kind teachers and loving parents.

Actions of rage headline the news…yet the generosity of Love is extended by small business owners, counselors, neighbors, and church congregations.

What the World Needs is Love

So much hurt and pain dwell up in us during times of tragedy…yet Love lingers by God’s grace.

As we baby step through shock and grief, we cling to the hope of Love.family clasped handsAlthough our family has recently moved from Newton, our heartfelt prayers are with you, dear  friends.moving day

#HesstonStrong

“…in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” Romans 8:37

 

 

 

 

 

Remembrance

We celebrate many anniversary events in our lives. Often what is unspoken are our anniversaries of loss. We all have them, yet we typically don’t collectively mark the occasion. Sometimes the emotional attachments are so poignant and intense it seems too difficult. Yet if we share just a bit, even a funny story…perhaps our grief feels a little lighter and our loved one is tucked into our heart memory just a little more snugly.

RemembranceToday we take a moment to remember our mother-in-law, Kitty. It’s been six years — a speck of time in the grand scheme of things yet so long in a family’s history.

Rather than dwell on all that she’s missed, we remember her spirit at family events. She was ALL IN. She loved the chaos of little boys running all over, digging in sandpiles and leaving their handprints all over her windows. She relished those grubby little bodies crawling into her lap and reading with her. She instilled a love of reading into all of her grandboys. I have fond memories of our firstborn backing up with an armload of books, landing topsy-turvy upon her and being caught with love. She’d exclaim, “Whew!” and they were off, diving into reading adventures together.

She loved well. We strive to pass on her legacy well.

We pray and hope that each of you are able to reflect and share special moments of your loved ones with those around you. Relive a funny story together. Look through old vacation albums or family reunion pictures. Remembrance is an honor and weaves a deeper texture to your family tapestry.

“Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion” — remember that moment in Steel Magnolias? It’s such a great example of the tenacity of the human spirit.

When we come together, we are stronger.

(…and surely that increases the odds someone has Kleenex!)Kitty's beloved dogs


“a time to weep and a time to laugh…” Ecclesiastes 3:4



 

Beauty in Brokenness

fallen tree in woodsWe often shy away from others when we feel broken, less than our usual self. We hide away, tucking into those potent negative thoughts and allowing them to fester. What if this brokenness, though, is what allows us to draw closer to God? What if it’s part of God’s design to allow this reminder of our humanness and our lack of control over our earthly circumstances? That sounds deep, doesn’t it? Yet it has a genius simplicity to it — a simple message to return to God for His guidance in our daily walk…on our good days and our not-so-good days.

“Abide in Me, as I also will abide in you.” John 15:4

Throughout His Word, God sends us messages of assurance, encouraging us to turn to Him. He wants us to start fresh with Him each day, to give us “daily bread” — relying on Him for what the day holds for us, allowing Him to unfold His beauty and bounty in HIS way. To focus on today, not tomorrow — this surrender is so hard because we have to admit that we cannot do it alone.tree fallenSometimes we have to experience brokenness to become stronger. We have to acknowledge our weakness and examine our inner self to get through a rough patch. We have to hunker down and figure out how to cling to God’s mercy in difficult times. In the midst of burrowing into our brokenness, we can discover His truths for us and also the grace to accept help out of our mess.

There’s a poignant beauty in brokenness. A fallen tree provides a glimpse of what’s inside — the intricacy within, the striations in the bark, the growth patterns…just as a time of brokenness in our lives prompts us to slow down, to look at where we’ve been, and how we’ve grown or gone astray. Sometimes we have to pass through the grit of brokenness to find the hope of healing.fallen tree

A fallen tree provides us with a fresh perspective. It is no longer towering above where we can’t reach, but it’s now able to be climbed and investigated in minute detail. What was once unattainable is now conquerable…we are able to overcome it because of its brokenness. This hulking timber that was once so majestically tall is now accessible to all the critters on the ground below, providing shelter, refuge, and even entertainment. Squirrels scamper. Children delighfallen logt in walking down the strong trunk, balancing their little bodies and feeling empowered when they make it across. In its fallen state, the broken tree can provide a quiet interlude for families to stop and rest, for parents to lean in together while children explore.

We can sometimes overlook beauty in the Fallen because of our hurry to move on, to get ahead. A pile of fallen leaves is a collection of color and texture, a crunchy sound on a morning walk yet also softening of the ground after a harsh summer. In our own fallen state we come together as we hafallen leavesven’t ever before because we are all grounded. Like leaves that were so majestic and upright on branches waving in the breeze independently, we are now at rest together in a mixed jumble. Whatever heights had previously been achieved, now we are all on the same level. It’s in this groundedness that we can relate to one another, to see our similarities and admit our shared vulnerabilities.

As Fall surrounds us and scatters leaves all around, let’s consider how we can connect with one another in our brokenness. Let’s reach out to others who have fallen, offering a gracious hand because we know the depth of strength it takes to get up again. Let’s embrace the splendor of the foliage around us, resting in the assurance of God’s design for us in our highs and lows. Abide in Him. He never leaves us.

fall - golden tree