Legacy

 

quilts

 

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

A neighbor that our family holds dear in our hearts just said goodbye to a mother of 90 years. Such a good, long life, but still hard to lose at any age, always.

As he reflected on his mother, this is what I heard:handpicked

she loved her children dearly

she worked hard in life

she poured into her family

she stood up for us, and stood by us in every circumstance

she knew how to make each person feel important; special

I never met this woman, but I listened to this son’s heartfelt sentiments and I began to think…

Feelings trump Actions a lot of the time. The memory bank cements the details with the years added; but the feelings infused to the spirit stay long and hard in our minds. Our heartstrings are attached to those feelings.

This is good news to the daily grind of life!! But a strong, powerful and important lesson to pay attention to…

whatever the event, circumstance or situation, be it good, beautiful or ugly; you can CHOOSE to end each well. There is an enemy that would really like to keep this a secret, but oh what a great Godly weapon against such one!!!

 

teacup

Listen: God can restore anything when we choose to give to to Him. Every time that we show LOVE, KINDNESS, GENTLENESS, SELF-CONTROL... we are ending it well. The people around you- Family, Friends, Strangers, God-orchestrated People will remember how they felt in your presence long after any event or meeting.

I know that I strive to point to the Lord with my life. I want to look like a big, beautiful, messed-up, imperfect, redeemed, restored person that ended things well because the Lord showed me how. And then that irritating enemy can’t replay any tapes to confuse me later, because God stops him, and reminds me how we ended even the hardest things in life well; together.

reflection

 

Embrace every moment you’re given. Time flies and moments are fleeting, but as you give the very best of you,  then our Lord can use that to be part of your legacy.

Mercy Me has a song called “In the Blink of an Eye”

 

 

shamrock

Here are parts of our Legacy:

This shamrock plant is in my house and my sister-in-law’s because it reminds us of our mother-in-law who loved this plant. We both have quilts that go back to great-grandparents in our lives that we wrap our children in. We share stories about loved ones that have gone on before us, and we cook with the recipes of cherished women in our past. All of these simple things implant feelings on our hearts; they are an evolving legacy…

Each transition that we take hold of will add another layer of texture to our lives and our children’s memories of home.

 

But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children. Psalm 103:17

Goodness

Goodness plate

Sometimes we just have to keep it simple. We have to whittle out all the excess to get to a nugget of truth and hold it in our grubby hands.

As I pondered this week’s Fruit of the Spirit “goodness,” I waited for an inspirational story or illustration to plop into my head.

(nothing)

I sat with my laptop, fingers poised to type some witty examples of Goodness.

(nothing)

Hmmm, maybe I shouldn’t force this topic?

Where to begin?

good morning

“In the beginning…” God created it ALL. From nothing He created ALL kinds of things, then stepped back to view his work each day and declared “it was good.”

Then that special day came when he created man and woman, blessing them and giving them all that He had created.

“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” Genesis 1:31

That’s it in a nutsell: we don’t need to be perfect. We just need to be Good as God intended. Out of all that He made, we are the part of His creation he determined was very good. We need to give ourselves the grace to dwell in that, to rest in it and not stress ourselves out.

Somehow we’ve over-inflated our expectations and expect “the best” performance of ourselves each and every day, then face disappointment and shame when we feel we don’t “measure up.” We tend to respond to a genuine compliment with a dismissive “well, I guess it was good enough.”

Good IS enough.

In each moment, each day…if our focus is to align with God’s purpose for our lives, then that is Good. And it is satisfyingly enough. Isn’t that refreshing to take the pressure off a bit?

Take a moment to celebrate your Goodness today.
breathe

Faithfulness

During this season of Resolutions, dare we explore the concept of Faithfulness? Can we dust it off a bit and revisit what we’ve learned about it over the years? We’ve probably all heard statements such as:

“Stick to something you’ve started.”

“Hang in there when the going gets rough.”

“Keep focused on your goal.”

“Take baby steps toward a larger goal.”

“Put effort in daily to reach your weekly or monthly goal.”

What does this look like in our daily messy lives?

raindrops on windshieldSticking to something faithfully is hard. Some days are rainy and our energy level is low. We tend to be fickle and change our minds about things. It’s easier to rationalize our way out of something than look at the true motivation underlying our initial intentions.

It’s easy to get tangled up in the definition of Faithfulness. It’s personal for each one of us and changes throughout our lifetime. I’ve been reflecting on what I’ve observed or experienced as Faithfulness:

–a young Mom continuing to say “no” to her pleading child imploring for a treat at the checkout stand

–a daughter showing up over and over again to care for her aging parents

–a husband heading out the door to work each day while the wife and kids are home enjoying winter break

–following through on a workout plan by asking a friend to be an accountability partner because the motivation lapses are real, folks

–hearing the same story over and over, yet making eye contact and nodding at your loved one as they share it again

–a spouse doing an unspoken labor of loveboy mopping

–a stepmom helping her stepdaughter fix her hair even though it will make the family late for church

–a child keeping up with his chores

–saying those bedtime prayers with your squirming child when you feel exhausted to the core

–a parent asking a teenage son, “how was your day?” despite hearing the rote response of “fine” week after week

–a tired Dad helping his child with homework after his grueling day at work

–keeping scheduled appointments and checking in on time

–showing up for field trips and class parties for your younger children when the “all shiny and new” experiences with your firstborn have faded away

–making meals that are family favorites but may require some extra effort on your part or that may not be your favorite

–sending a birthday card to a friend rather than posting a quick one-liner on FB

–allowing friends or family  to have their own way of doing things without being judgy; figuring out what is “your way” and being constant in this

–carving out some Quiet Time in midst of the daily Loud and Busy

–following up with a friend who has shared some recent struggles

–being a cheerful giver

“…the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.” Psalm 117:2

Faithfulness plateGod is faithful and just. He keeps His promises. Our attempts at Faithfulness may seem feeble as we strive to meet our daily purpose, but He is present and watchful of each little step. We inch along, ever so slowly, bit by bit toward His plan for us.

May the New Year provide us with many opportunities to be full of Faith in gestures big and small.

Fruits of the Spirit   Make-a-plate project

Thresholds

“…for such a time as this…” Esther 4:14



When presented with a new opportunity, we stand on the threshold of something new. We can cross over or stay where we are. Crossing over creates a sense of anticipation; remaining in place feels familiar and comfortable. A threshold seems like a place of limbo. We stand between two options, looking ahead to whatever is on the other side while retaining a sense of where we’ve just been.

bridge

A threshold gives us a chance to pause, to take a breath and consider our next action. We may linger here a bit, needing to observe the traffic flow and consider who is passing through. Are these footsteps here some that we can follow? Is this the time to pursue this particular path? How will this change of course affect our perspective? How could it impact our family?

rock art

Some thresholds are fairly easy to cross. There aren’t big differences in the landscape. The footing is similar from one side to another, inviting a gentle transition. We can ease our way through at a natural pace. Some thresholds are expected transitions and we are part of a group that is facing the same changes (passing from one grade to another or starting a new semester of classes). We feel comfort in the shared process.

Other opportunities may generate a keen sense of excitement – a new adventure, a risk. These thresholds are more intimidating. You naturally hesitate, feeling the need for more preparation to cross over. Sometimes rushing through may cause you to stumble. You may need a tug from someone ahead of you to steady you, or perhaps a gentle nudge from someone behind you to encourage you forward.

As a parent  it’s extremely helpful to have a mentor a step or two ahead of you, encouraging you to step across the threshold into the next season of parenting. This can provide a sounding board for setting realistic curfews, handling emotional outbursts, or figuring out how to manage playdates when you may not feel a connection with the other parent even though your child is begging to spend time with a new friend.

So, we take a step or two into this new phase, consulting our mentor and getting our feet wet…

pathThese last few days of December seem like a threshold to new beginnings and opportunities, offering us a chance to make some adjustments in different areas of our lives. As the New Year beckons us with a fresh start and many open doors, may you be able to discern which thresholds to step boldly across and may you have a steadfast companion to accompany you on your journey!holding hands


“Commit your way to the lord; trust in Him.”  Psalm 37:5

 


 

 

 

Gentleness

white poinsettiaIt’s the week of Christmas, a time of remembering Christ’s birth and celebrating with one another. Jesus came to us in the most humble and gentle way — as a baby.

Each of us has been around a newborn baby and been enveloped by the gentleness a baby evokes. Our movements slow down. Our voices soften. Our gazes are inevitably drawn in.

This gentleness is what I imagine God wants us to continue using with each other on a daily basis. To meet each other’s gaze and speak softly to one another. To soften our hard edges with one another.



“Let your gentleness be evident to all.” Philippians 4:5



Practicing gentleness may be especially difficult if we get too caught up in the stress of this season’s demands. We encounter long lines at the grocery store, post office, and retail stores. Exhibiting gentleness with the cashier or the harried shopper tapping her foot behind you may take extra effort this week, but this simple act can change someone’s day dramatically if we do.

advent boxOur children have been living the hype for the last couple weeks of school. In the myriad of Christmas programs, classroom parties, and family gatherings, how often are we slowing down to help them savor the moment? One of the ways we’ve tried to do this is by using props that are woven into our Christmas decorations and family routine in December.advent box

We’ve been attempting to do our Advent box each evening as a way to refocus on Jesus as the center of Christmas. In each opening there’s a few pieces of candy and a slip of paper with a suggested activity:

— Read a Christmas book together

— Bake some Christmas cookies

— Snuggle and watch a holiday show

— Do something nice for another family

— Wrap presents together

This year we’ve added Advent notecards to facilitate family discussion into a deeper level, incorporating scripture and a thought-provoking question to ponder. Our youngest likes to hang them up by the fireplace as a visual countdown.

advent cardsadvent cardSeveral years ago a friend gave us a cute container filled with conversation prompts. I incorporated this into our table centerpiece and we take turns drawing from it each night. These simple prompts nudge us to share about Christmas memories, to imagine specific things about the real nativity scene, to contemplate what the wise men talked about on their way to the stable, or to identify our favorite holiday food or song. These simple things cause us to linger a little longer with each other around the table and we often are laughing about what’s been shared as we move on to wash the dishes.

As parents we’ve made a more concerted effort to play games and watch holiday shows during winter break. This takes some extra energy because those to-do lists seem never-ending as we prepare for all of the extra holiday activities. Simply putting these ideas onto paper inside the advent box keeps us moving toward our intentions set earlier in the month. It helps us be gentle with ourselves in the midst of the rush, giving us permission to regroup and refocus with our family, slowing down the pace a bit.

During each of these advent activities, we gather together. We snuggle in beside each other on the couch or make eye contact with each other across the dinner table. As parents we try to add a gentle word or gesture to keep the kiddos on track, reconnecting with them in a light-hearted way.

It’s amazing how a gentle word or touch can impact the family’s overall mood. For seeming like a “meek” Fruit of the Spirit,  Gentleness sure is powerful. How might you use it today in your daily tasks or as you gather with your family?Gentleness plate

 

 

 

 

Fruits of the Spirit    Make-a-Plate Project

Traditions

“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!”  Psalm 118:24

 

decoratingI love traditions. I get sentimental about ones passed down from generation to generation. Like family recipes, photo albums, or holiday gatherings. There is something exciting about creating your own, too.  We began making gingerbread houses each year with cousins when our two families united. It began with the adults doing the baking and decorating and the babies watching or sleeping, and then shifted over the years to our boys picking elaborate themes and much candy eating and laughter!!

As I add the layer of traditions into our home, I feel it’s important to take some of mine and a few of my husband’s and mix them together. Christmas morning is really yummy at our house because we make his mom’s coffee cake and my mom’s blueberry muffins; they both are on the table because that brings back our childhood.  But I think it’s important to thread the next layer by starting some traditions with your children as well. You will be initiated into our winter family tradition of an Indoor Snowball Fight (marshmallow pelting)  if you come over in December! And expect to see a basket of crazy Christmas socks by the door for all who enter; they are great for sliding in! We might occasionally eat holiday cookies for breakfast during this month too and giggle in our pajamas… This weaving of multiple threads of tradition really creates a beautiful layer in a home. winter painting

A cherished friend places a grandmother’s oil painting of a winter scene out each December to remember her.
moments

My boys love it when we take a silly moment in our day!

 

bedtime snack

Hot cocoa breaks and bedtime snacks are favorites with us.

Another mom does a craft-a-day during the month of December with her two kids. Our family loves to make gifts for grandparents and neighbors.crafting

Share stories of family events, look at photo albums, curl up with hot cocoa or cider and read, play in the snow, laugh out loud together, bake something yummy and indulge this season in traditions.

 

girls and gingerbread

–When you have two households of boys, your gingerbread morphs into Superheroes sometimes!

daily life transformed by God into extraordinary tapestries

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