“Love you mostest.”
“Love you MOSTEST mostest.”
…on and on our banter usually goes.
The kids and I have done this replay many times. I say it with them in hope that it becomes permanently engraved on their hearts. I say it with them so that when they walk out of boyhood and fit securely into manhood one day, these facts will remain fixed deep within them.
While I drop my boys off to school, and they walk that long sidewalk up and over a hill until their out of sight; I linger. There is a certain age that a boy stops turning around on that walk to see if you’re still watching. You are watching so that you can give that wave or nod and smile; to reciprocate that “code” language just for you two. The age comes much too fast for a Mom heart, but denial of it happening is futile. I still stay long enough to let them look back. I will watch long after they stop turning around at all.
I’m in that sweet spot right now with a couple of my sons. I get waves, silly faces, secret-code head nods and such… we are connected securely. My older sons are in the detaching stages; one turns hesitantly back and gives me one low, indiscreet wave before moving on. The oldest says, “bye, love you”, at the door and never looks back. I’m still here. Although I miss that ongoing banter, I don’t try to deny them the time to strive for independence. It is an important process.
The heartbreak for me was 4 days ago, watching 2 boys get dropped off. As their cars drove away, both children turned to look back. One even began to wave before realizing their parent was gone. I wanted to jump out of my car and wave for them!
Our society is swirling around us. Take 2 minutes in a day to let them look back. The time given will be abundantly reimbursed once we are older. Let’s not be” old and wise”. I want to be “young and wise” as I seek the Lord’s heart on family dynamics. None of us have to live with regrets in our future; that was never the design when God created us. Sacrifice your time and watch and see how abundantly the Lord blesses you and your loved ones.
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12