Category Archives: Layers

Fathering Footholds

Last week while dropping my son off at camp, I was directed to park in my “place” amidst the caravan of cars parading in to deposit youngsters for the week. Unfortunately, my “place” was in 6+ inches of meddlesome mud. My son & I rallied to embrace this unexpected mire. We changed our shoes and soldiered onward. The mud slowed our pace as we took methodical steps to release the suction clinging to the bottom of our soles.
Ssschhhhmucckkkk!”  “Ssschhhhmucckk!” hissed each shoe, flinging droplets of mud up the back of our legs. As we plowed our way through the sloshy mud, we grinned at each other and aligned ourselves shoulder to shoulder as we arrived at the check-in corral.  My son’s eyes sparkled as if to say, “I’ve got this.”toe to toe in the mud

Ok, so there was a little grumbling involved on my part as I had to McGyver my way back to the car & magically transform my mud-encrusted feet back into drivable footwear, but I sensed we had made a memory…and something more.

In the minutes before exiting the dry refuge of the car, we rallied to problem-solve and put our heads together on how to get ourselves and his belongings to his cabin relatively dry (aka: not dropping anything into the mud along the way). These little moments are ways we teach boys how to remain calm, to access resources, and to think quickly about their next choice. It’s an opportunity to establish a confidence foothold…a tiny nudge to show this excited 11-year-old boy a glimpse into being a resourceful adult in a sticky situation.

mini me
mini-me

Each time  we are able to model confidence and grace in a stressful moment, we reflect those abilities back to our children so they can see themselves as confident and capable.

As Father’s day approaches, I’ve been thinking about experiences that have been fathering footholds for my boys. 

We want our boys to mature into capable adults, faithful  husbands, and loving fathers. This transformation doesn’t happen overnight, but in the minutia of daily life with an added layer of thoughtfulness woven in. If we don’t nudge, cajole, and shape these boys in social courtesy and “gentlemanly” prowess, how do they develop these skills so they’re finely honed and naturally expressed when these young men are adulting out there on their own?

boy in tieI appreciate the “expectations” certain extracurricular groups set to reinforce these niceties. Learning to tolerate the discomfort of formal concert attire for orchestra performances or wearing business clothes all day for a key club convention is a good life lesson. Learning how to present themselves, make eye contact, and endure public speaking contributes to that young boy “trying on” the weight of adult responsibility in a supportive environment.

teen drivingAs parents we also have snippets of training time throughout our daily activities:

– mentioning a few pointers re:  driving  etiquette as our teens chauffeur us around on errands

– encouraging them to hold open doors or to return grocery carts for the elderly or frazzled mothers with toddlers

– sitting patiently in the passenger seat, awaiting one of the guys to open your door (and being gracious when it’s clear that you can do it yourself yet patiently allowing your young man to demonstrate this gesture of kindness)

Family vacations that broaden children’s perspectives and enhance an appreciation for things outside their “normal” have long-lasting impact.

yellowstone

I’m thankful for the encouragement and support that my boys have gotten along the way to offer them some fatherly footholds. Each of these positive contacts contributes to these young boys developing a foundation of manly self-confidence.

mentorteachers that have gone beyond the classroom to challenge and mentor them in positive ways

a father that lets them lead, but is available with the backup map when needed

passing on a legacy pin

the grandfather that passed along his National Honor Society legacy pin to his grandson being inducted 60 years later

 aunts that have repeatedly purchased popcorn and household gadgets through a variety of  fundraisers

outgrowing unclesuncles that have teased and talked sports with the boys, making a big deal of the ones gradually outgrowing them

the kind elementary school principal that greeted each student by name at the door  each day

a youth group pastor that meets them for donuts and reinforces their brotherly bonds

work crews that enthusiastically help on Eagle Scout projectseagle scout work crew

father's day a Grandpa that drives long distances to join in Father’s Day activities and tease them about girls…and the whole nine yards

grandmas that have cheered for them on the sidelines of their chosen sports or clapped enthusiastically after a musical performance

Each time someone SHOWS UP and demonstrates interest in what a young boy is striving toward, that boy gains confidence about the young man he is becoming. It fuels his drive and motivates him along his path.  It strengthens his armor, readying him in unseen ways for his future role of husband, worker, or father.
Baylor familySo, we wade through the mud with our children. We engage them in face-to-face conversation. We cultivate a love of our own alma mater, yet also release them to choose their own school that fits them best. We celebrate their wins and comfort them in their losses.

 

"Father" Bible Quilt page
Bible Quilt: Father page

Each day in small, ordinary ways, we offer our boys little fathering footholds and entrust them to their ultimate Father figure, praying for guidance and growth.

As we celebrate the Dads around us this weekend, let us also be mindful of the young boys observing the fatherly traits all around them. Each interaction matters.

Grandpa and me
Grandpa and me

 

In honor of Father’s day, here’s to my grandfather who was a “gentle man and a gentleman.”

You shepherded us well, Grandpa. We love you!

 

 

 

Ordinary Threads

If you were to ask me what Ordinary Threads is all about, my heart longs to share with as many women as I can; as many women as my voice can reach in my small pond, but with the Lord’s ripple effect, to help them understand what an amazing gift God has given women when it comes to family and children. In this generation especially, with media pressing in and pressing hard on the minds and in the hearts of our youth. It is still within the home that the Lord is crying out to women to hang on, hold tight and layer your family with prayer and love and tradition. Don’t blindly let them be taken away in what the enemy would so easily love to inflict: a hook-up with the world and a non-connect in the home.

Bible Quilt

Ordinary Threads and this blog is about sharing with women how to live each day with purposeful intention in every single thing that we do. From cooking and cleaning,  to tucking in our children at night, loving our spouse well and all the while focusing on our Lord. When we write weekly, our hearts are pressed in to share with women how to take things like menu planning and errands and chores,  and to layer them into the growth of our family instead of pushing the family aside as we plow on. Ordinary Threads is a step of Faith for us, and each time we take that daily step out of our comfort zone, the Lord shows up! He continues to flood our hearts with so many beautiful things to share with women, that its sometimes hard to even keep. But it is exciting and it is a process, and our Lord never rushes His design.

Right now we are taking this journey of Bible Quilting. We have been honored to share it with many of you already, and the fruit that is growing from seeds planted is tremendous! We give God all the glory for what He is doing with this plan. It has not been easy, and we have felt spiritual attack and residue that comes with it. At Ordinary Threads, our hearts want to impress on women to cling tight to the Lord when these storms arise. We are seeing more fruit then we could have imagined on our own rising out of hardships that we have weathered together.

As I am currently packing my house up and about to move my family into another house, my heart is reflective of the layers that are here. I feel tears start to come at different parts of the day as I walk through these rooms. It’s a flood of mixed emotions as I jostle the thoughts of excitement in setting up a new space and making it our own, and continuing the layers of our home.

The ordinary threads that we all are, when woven together under the Creator’s workmanship, produce a beautiful quilt that brings layers of warmth, security and assurance to where our children belong.  God gives each woman the threads to weave this masterpiece with Him.  It is called a Home, and there are many wonderful layers within it.

Our writing has always been intentional in showing families how to use the layers of life in a Christ-like way.  Cooking, Laundry, Sports, Church, Homework…all the glorious and the yuck of a day interwoven.

When we began this blog, it was from a stirring in my heart to share the layers of life with other women. My sis-in-law came beside me, and we continue to walk it out weekly with the Lord.

Daily life can get swept up in weeks, months and years. I’ve heard many times the phrase, “looking forward to when they can do that!” in reference to children. When mine were all itty bitty, I remember wanting to work on my art but deciding it would have to wait till my kids were grown… and that’s when the Lord impressed upon my heart to, “paint in the mess”. If I waited, I would miss out on the growing process of my own Faith while watching the literal growth of my babies. He wanted me to have both. It’s hard to layer both in my life;its messier,  but I’m reminded that this world is messy. If God was waiting for perfect, we would miss out on sunsets, and wildflowers mingled with the weeds.

In the mundane of each day that is necessary: cook, clean, school, appointments… at Ordinary Threads, we work with purpose to infuse layers between the ordinary. It’s with love, music, stories, milestone markers, generations, outreach, traditions…that we weave it all together. We are looking forward to sharing so much more life together with you.

So do not throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded. Hebrews 10:35-36

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.

God is on the other side of Ordinary

Dinner Time!

Here’s the question: “How do you carve out one-on-one time with a child when you have so many?” It’s a very good question! I am asked about it a lot, which is humorous since I am an only child and had all of my parents’ attention. So I am learning as I go, and asking the Lord for insight often. Here are some tools I’ve found that work for us in our home, that at times feels likedinner helper a whirling dervish!

This is the day the Lord has made! Psalm 118:24

We do most activities together, which I like because I see so much learned in sharing, compromising and helping one another. But every one of us wants to be seen, heard and loved. I want to know each child’s personality, dreams and ambitions. This is where our “dinner helper” spun from… there is usually one night that we can all come together and share a meal each week. So I have one child help with preparing our meal. When we first started this, everyone was eager to help and they all hovered in the kitchen. I asked one son to stay while the others went to play; (no sharing on this one).

dinner helpersI had to relinquish control and speed of prep-time at first. What a nine-year-old can help with versus a three-year-old are vastly different! But I learned that giving them the tools of grating cheese, layering a casserole, working a can opener and following a recipe are great life-skills in training. And the three-year-old is just as content in “helping” as he stacks the measuring cups or counts out the paper plates. Conversation began to emerge with my oldest,  goofiness grew with my second son as we added music to his nights; we danced and sang while we made dinner! My younger two became even more cuddly after singling them out. It has been a win-win all the way around for each of us.

When I was little, my grandmother fried chicken and made the most delicious chocolate ice-box pies. My mom made hearty soups from scratch. I’ve watched both beautiful women cook side-by-side and create chicken-and-dumplings and hot apple pies that I still dream about! Food is a great layer to a home; it evoboy tastingkes such detailed memories in one’s soul.

So grab a pan, stir a bowl, dance and whisk something for a loved one. Try a new recipe or cling tight to a treasured one. Happy Mother’s Day and enjoy the meals!

In the ordinary days, watch and see were you can carve out these memorable moments. They can be found in our daily tasks.

Our 100th Post!!!

Audra & Di

  As we celebrate our 100th Post, we continue to live in the Ordinary, trying to be mindful of the simple things we do each day that impact others.
We want to explore the Ordinary Threads within our homes,  and then stretch these into our communities. Come alongside and join us!
Here’s a glimpse of our journey these past 18 months: 
– – –100th post video – – –
Sometimes it’s good to reflect on one’s past so the path toward the future is a little clearer.  We are grateful for the opportunity to share here each week with you. Thank you for the support, friends!

“It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God, but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the Ordinary things in life and holy on the Ordinary streets among Ordinary people, and this is not learned in five minutes.”    -Oswald Chambers

How do we live in the Ordinary?  Continue on this journey with us; the fellowship is sweet…
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Facebook group: Ordinary Threads

Our shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/aFrayedKnotStudio

Behind the Scenes of Loading a Great Soccer Wagon

This is not for the faint of heart. There is skill and precision of timing that only comes from being in the trenches—a.k.a The Soccer Field. This is what the Wagon used to look like every Saturday…
We have all either seen or been the mom with an antsy sibling-child that is hungry, bored, wet, cold, hot, whining…I’ve seen a toddler drop his drawers and pee on a parent’s chair. It’s ALL out there on the field.
And yes, there is an actual game going on with your child playing. And you have come to dutifully and joyfully cheer them on. It will come to a crashing halt if you have not loaded a Great Soccer Wagon for the “others”.
The obvious items being: soccer ball, water thermos, chair for yourself, blanket and a handy umbrella for shading options.

Now let me bump up your game with another set of items that will free you to enjoy what you originally came for–the soccer.

We have a carry container with a Lego drawer and a top brick plate to create on. These are our “Soccer Legos” and they draw crowds of kids each time we bring it. Everyone can build side-by-side on a blanket. Legos have no age barriers. All 4 of my boys and their peers will sit down and tinker with Legos!
“Dirt Toys” are fabulous for the younger set. Grab a recyclable clothe bag and load up those sand box toys with a few extra hot wheels for good measure. The field inevitably has a side area that will just be dirt. And if you have boys…they are magnets to dirt! (Just throw in some wet wipes for the clean-up).
We always have a stadium-sized umbrella for the kids to set up a make-shift shade tent on the ground. This also comes in handy to block wind. I tuck a small rope in the wagon in case we need to tie it more securely to a chair.  Speaking of rope…there have been times when the kids will collect sticks and use the small rope to make “tepees”.
Band Aids, Comic Books, Gum,  Rubics Cubes and various Fidget Toys are stashed in Wagon pockets. Any Drive Through Toys are funneled to the Soccer Wagon; if they get left or taken by another child…I’m good with that!
I tuck a few quarters in for a random snow cone occasionally. And I take 1 snack for each child but put it in multiple tiny ziploc bags that won’t hold much, so that when they ask me repeatedly for more, I keep doling them out…eventually they’ve finished the 1 snack but they are none the wiser. (It keeps them busy).
We load the Wagon the night before a game day and then lift the whole thing into the back of the car. It does not collapse down until the game day is complete. You can do this too!! It takes a small amount of preparation, but once you’ve set the Wagon up, you are good for the season. Enjoy the games!

The Story Teller

Tell Them Their Story 

 

   We all love a good story. It doesn’t matter your age. It’s even better if there are hidden gems of laughter, harrowing moments and happy endings. We just love getting lost in the detailed threads that tug at our hearts.

 

Our children love to hear “their stories”. They ask to hear them over and over. We laugh and gasp at all the same parts every time. And I realize that we add chapters to their stories with each day, each vacation, each experience, family event, tradition, hug and “I love you”. It’s in every ordinary and extraordinary day that we have.

The stories help cement it into each of our minds  when we re-tell them; it’s something  for all us.  

Pictures and albums help with that too. The time spent in conversation is a layer of warmth for the soul that is something extra special. Face-to-face conversation is becoming less and less in our society; everyone wants the short and condensed version of events.  But when you give some time to sharing, you will hear: 

“Read it again, please!” and “Can you tell it again?” and then it turns into, “Remember, Mom and Dad, when I did this,  and when that happened?”…  It’s such a rich layer to a person. 

When you have  many children, this helps in giving that individual their unique identity. In a group setting,  you can easily speak each child’s love language by reminiscing of a fond time together.  It’s so easy to add this layer to your home, but it is becoming lost in our digital agendas. Fill your child up with words that champion them; show their hearts how spectacular they are. Hand them their legacy as your family shares past generations stories too. All of these conversations  combined are a treasure, not bought. The value is priceless for our hearts. 

 

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you.   -Philippians 1:3

 

Snuggle-in, hug them, laugh with them, and reminisce—again and again.